WHY IS A GRAVESIDE MEMORY CAPSULE NEEDED?

Carved into the gravestone is a hardly noticeable dash. It lies between the year of birth and the year of death. It matters not, once someone is gone, when the birth and death took place. Those dates give neither praise nor blame for the life experiences of the one resting there and those who follow can gain no value from reading them. What matters most is the life between those dates, and the dash in the stone gives no clue.

That dash does not begin to show the lifelong deep need to be loved by the one who rests here, nor does it show the sacrifices they willingly made to be of value to others in return. It does not show their determination to earn that love, respect and appreciation through their own unselfish work and by their determination to always give more than they received. It also does not show their willingness to love and forgive, not only when that love was not returned, but hate was returned instead.

Time was when all of the value of that dash would soon be forgotten as the family grew and scattered to the four corners of the earth. If left unrecorded, truth in time turns to tale and the story becomes unrecognizable and without value. In time the essence of that dash is forgotten completely and its value is lost to those that follow.

But that valuable and loving knowledge gained by the one resting there during their life no longer needs to diminish with time. It will not be scattered to the winds by the migration and proliferation of the following family. With modern means and ways, such as the Graveside Memory Capsule and its internet support, the lessons they learned will always be available to their family and all others who seek lessons needed for having a good life for themselves. Instead, they will serve those that follow for decade after decade. With modern technology, the entire life story may be easily preserved for future generations for their understanding, appreciation and guidance. A great-great grandchild can now learn of their inner and outer beauty, age by age.

TO REGAIN AND MAINTAIN TRADITIONAL FAMILY TIES

For many centuries the first emphasis of culture was the family. Family cemeteries were common. Family stories about deceased ancestors and relatives were a strong tie between family members. Since the cemeteries were close by they were usually maintained by families. Strolling through the cemetery after church on Sunday with a short pause by each headstone was a common practice. The deceased members of the family were still members of the family.

As the population increased and people were gathered in larger and larger groups this intimacy between the living and the dead began to fade as cemeteries became municipal or commercial. No longer was a child necessarily buried near a parent. There were members from other families intermixed in between. Strolls through the cemetery disappeared.

Then came huge cemeteries and dozens of them as huge cities appeared. Family cohesion began to atrophy due to geographical separation. And finally, the family has lost its sanctity as divorce and cohabitation have become culturally acceptable. Although the very concept of family is deeply rooted within the human it is being ripped apart by modern pressures. Time will tell but it is quite possible that many of the societal problems of today will someday be traced to the alienation caused by the loss of the human tradition of honoring family ties.

It is also quite possible that modern communication can undo some of the family cultural losses caused by modern transportation that provides the base for a mobile society and resultant fragmented families . The Graveside Memory Capsule is a step in that direction.

TO PROVIDE FOR A STRONG AND ACCURATE FAMILY HISTORY

When we bury our dead we show respect for them. We honor their lives by placing them in a space reserved just for them, whether vault or grave, and mark it so that everyone will know who lies there. When that space was adjacent to other family members, they were not lost and forgotten. When the son is buried in California, the mother in Arizona and the father in Florida (an actual case), without some form of communication that can bring these three together, no one will ever be able to make the connection. Even if a connection was made, nothing can be determined about any of the three without extensive and costly research. This family relationship will not be available to descendents.

A future family historian will hit a wall.

The first step in building a continuing and complete family database is to place a Graveside Memory Capsule at each grave, each containing a life story, to provide an information node, and a link to an internet central information bank that establishes a link between those 3 nodes.

PROVIDE FAMILY HISTORY FOR FUTURE GENETIC STUDY

The study of genetics is on the fast track. The flow of mutations in a family is likely to become of great utility to doctors in the future in treating diseases, and the thinking now is that genetic structure is responsible to some degree in all human diseases. Information would appear in each family member life story saved in a Graveside Memory Capsule about diseases and ailments. Such information could be of great value to later generations and it demonstrates the decedent's loving concern about his/her descendants.

HISTORY PREPARATION AS A TOOL FOR GRIEF MANAGEMENT

There are many ways to handle graveside memories. They probably should be started early in life and should be maintained throughout life. When death comes, the survivors then have an easier time putting the finishing touches to the record and formalizing its safety for the future. Even then there will be a high ratio of tears to production, and the record will be largely a production of the decedent.

Perhaps it is best to keep the need in mind throughout life and collect the raw materials of a life event, such things as notes and photographs and the like, things that you want to make sure that people know about you after your departure and rely on the survivors to do the final preparation and analysis.

Unfortunately most of us put such things off as long as we are healthy. Then, if we become unhealthy and realize that death is near, preparation of a life story may not be a desirable thing to do because it shows defeat at a time when the spirit must do everything it can to remain positive. Each past memory being documented, no matter how good, comes with a death tag attached. Preparing a life story when death is suspected to be near could possibly hasten the death, since the fight against it is being faced from a negative point of view.

So, finally, it usually becomes the job of the survivor(s) to prepare a life history, after the death. Preparation of a life history of a deeply loved one shortly after their death is extremely stressful. The production to tears ratio is near zero at the start. The more enjoyable or valuable the event that you are trying to document, the more distress at the loss. Before it can be written down the tears flow. But it begins to make sense as it progresses. At the beginning the memory that sears the mind is that of the handfull of dirt you dropped into the grave, or the scattering of the ashes. Then as the documentation continues, the remembering of each living and loving event that was shared starts diluting the horror of the death. Soon one can concentrate on the life of the lost one for longer periods of time than that spent in mourning the death. Each incident documented enhances the appreciation of that life and diminishes the mourning over the death. It comes hard at first, but it is fact that what you are documenting is life not death, and the beauty of that life is far greater than the sadness of its ending.

A DIGITAL DIARY CAN PROVIDE VALUABLE HELP IN OPTIMIZING ONE'S LIFE

Diaries were once quite popular. They were mainly kept as a very personal record used as a reference to review past experiences. A good use of a personal diary would be to maintain a life record, although now it should be digital in nature. The advent of the thumb memory allows one to use the family computer for a diary containing voice, text, even video, without publishing the secrets to the family. There are two advantages to maintaining a personal digital diary in this fashion. One needs to review past actions often in order to determine wise and unwise past decisions in order to optimize future actions. A side product is that this digital memory serves well as a base for the life experiences you believe are important to become permanent knowledge on your death. Every person should be encouraged to keep records of their actions and to review them often. When a baby is born, his/her thumb memory diary should be started with the pictures from birth.

USE MODERN MEANS TO SPREAD FAMILY INFORMATION THROUGHOUT THE FAMILY

These records within a Graveside Memory Capsule may be easily downloaded into thumb memories or cdrom. From there the records may be communicated between family members and other interested persons, no matter where they are, by mail or internet.

It is well known that those who do not study history will repeat the mistakes in the past. The detail within family history serves to enhance the lives of those who make the effort to study the successes and failures of their forbears.